i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
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He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
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I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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