fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
