Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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