so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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