Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Naked. naked and bneed help.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
