his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
