yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
