when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
