we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
