So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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