ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
just found out that she named her cat after me.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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