New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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