when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
id be glad to
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
