just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
porn star boner night. come get it.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I didn't notice because vodka
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
