This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
