Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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