Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
