His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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