i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
