I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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