went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
