I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
