Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
