Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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