batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
