We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize