how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
