We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some magic done to my vagina
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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