Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
