I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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