I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
sarcasm needs its own font
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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