people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
