PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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