youre lurking in front of me
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
