I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
