nutella sex= disaster
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
