Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Randomize
