That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
