the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
