he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
