successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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