Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize