That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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