from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
