i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
