hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
