And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
