So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
