I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
