its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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