dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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