i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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