i don't like sucking hair
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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