I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
