she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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