I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
So much Jack, so little girl.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
