The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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