I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
