he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
