Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome