Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You are the jesus of drinking
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
