SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
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